VATUGASG  5772

THE LIMITS OF RESTRAINT

And Joseph could no longer l’hit’a’pek (control himself) before all his attendants and he cried out, “Have anyone withdraw from me.” [Genesis 45:1]

Chapter 44 concludes with Judah’s passionate plea to the powerful Egyptian Viceroy that he be allowed to exchange places with Benjamin. Joseph had a choice when confronted with Judah. As Viceroy he could have turned a deaf ear to his plea and kept Benjamin in Egypt even at the expense of his father’s pain. He certainly had good reason to give vent to his anger and continue to toy with his brothers for their ill treatment of him.

Joseph thus seemed totally unmoved by Judah’s narrative of the pain suffered by their father, Jacob that would be intensified many fold if Benjamin didn’t return. The Hebrew word l’hit’a’pek connotes total control over one’s emotions and responses, and it was only when Judah, the brother who negotiated his sale to the Ishmaelites, offered to trade places with Benjamin, did Joseph’ control dissipate.

At that moment he not only revealed himself to his brothers but was also clear in his desire for reconciliation. He was determined to put an end to the charade in which he toyed with them and to start a new chapter in their relationship.

There are times when l’hit’a’pek (control) is called for. It’s hardly judicious to respond with a fit of temper whenever the behavior of others frustrates or hurts us. It’s hardly productive to nurse a hurt we long to avenge. It’s far more beneficial to seek reconciliation by talking through with others about our feelings regarding their actions.

The depth of our ‘humanity’ is well measured by what causes us to control and respond to the pain of others. Are we overcome with Weltchmertz* as we view the broken world that is the lot of far too many unfortunate fellow human beings in our planet?

*(mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state. (From German Welt world + Schmerz pain) The Torah insists that we not avert our gaze from those who struggle for existence each in his/her own broken world. In I Cry for the World, the poet captures the deep Weltschmertz triggered by poverty, pain and injustice:

I cry for the children too weak to cry/With bloated bellies just waiting to die.  I cry for the innocents on a distant shore/Who bury their loved ones as a result of war.  I cry for the billions who pray in vain/Who seem only to suffer more pain.  ….. (Rolf Kay, founding and longtime board member of the Gandhi Alliance for Peace)

Yet tears alone are insufficient. As individuals we cannot cure all the ills of the world, but we can take some action. We can contribute to worthy causes; we can support legislation that strengthens the social network. We can apprise ourselves of the facts and elect leaders who will advance social justice agenda. l’hit’a’pek and to control our sense of outrage is a clear abdication of the responsibility our Tradition demands of us.

Peter, Paul, and Mary articulated this challenge in their famous song “Light One Candle For the Maccabees.” May the candle lit by each of us be joined by countless other candles bringing true illumination into a world all too often shrouded in darkness.

From the holy city of Jerusalem, Rae joins me in wishing all a Shabbat shalom u’mevorach, a Shabbat of peace and of blessing and fulfilling, successful and healthy 2012.

Rabbi Arnold M. Goodman
Senior Rabbinic Scholar
Ahavath Achim Synagogue
Atlanta, Georgia 30327
December 29, 2011
3 Tevet 5772