May 20, 2010 | 7 Sivan 5770

What is the earliest memory you have of something significant a parent shared with you?

I’m not talking about a silly memory. I’m talking about something that stayed with you…it might even have been what you could call a “life lesson.” What is that memory? Try to recall it now.

In my case it isn’t my own memory of that moment. I guess I was just too young to remember…or, because of what my mother did to my backside, I forgot the event and what my mother shared with me long ago.

In my case that earliest memory was based on my mother’s memory of an incident and her repeated mention of it. I must have been two or three years old. It was summer time in Minnesota…you know, that one month season in the Upper Midwest.

We were out in the front yard. Suddenly I darted into the street. Mind you, I remember none of this! My mother, so she told me several times, swooped me up, carried me into the bathroom, closed the door, closed the window, put down the blinds and said, “Neil, this is going to hurt me a lot more than it’s going to hurt you.”

Well, you know what happened next! 

Why do I refer to that incident as my earliest significant memory of something a parent shared with me?

It’s not because of the incident itself.  The answer lies in Mom’s repeated telling of the story. Mom was telling me something I wouldn’t personally understand until more than twenty-five years later.

Parents care about their children, and their children’s failures may well hurt them even more than they hurt their children.

So, in accordance with the lyrics of a Crosby, Stills and Nash song my mother never knew –
“…Teach your children well…” – That was the first significant lesson a parent taught me. “Teach your children well.”

Shavuot is a holiday of firsts…at least it was in biblical times.

In the Torah, Shavuot is called “Chag Habikkurim,” the holiday of the first fruits.

In accordance with the Torah’s instructions, our ancestors brought the very first fruits of their spring harvest to the Tabernacle and then to the Temple as an offering of thanksgiving to God.

We have largely lost that connection between Shavuot and Chag Habikkurim. For us, this holiday is about “Zeman Matan Torateinu,” standing at Sinai amidst the unique divine revelation that occurred there.

While some congregations adorn the bimah with fruit on Shavuot as one means to reclaim that awareness of this holiday as Chag Habikkurim, the effectiveness of that practice is in doubt.

Where is the offering to God in those pieces of fruit? Is it really possible to reclaim Shavuot as Chag Habikkurim? I want to suggest that my story at the outset of this sermon offers one potential direction in doing so.

Again, what is the first significant thing you remember one of your parents sharing with you? What is the essence, the real take-away from that recollection?

That essence, that lesson represents one of the “bikkurim” in your life. It was among the “first fruits” you tasted…and, perhaps, as in my example, it has continued to be a “fruit” you enjoy.

Wonderful…but… What did our ancestors do with their bikkurim? They did not consume them.  They did not enjoy them. They gave them over to God in the Tabernacle or Temple. Before they eventually enjoyed their fruits, they offered thanks to the source of their blessings.

As we take this Yizkor moment to remember the metaphorical bikkurim, the early lessons that parents and perhaps other loved ones no longer alive shared with us, we should resolve to act as our ancestors did.

Of course, we no longer can bring offerings to God at the Temple. And we probably can’t give the benefits of our “bikkurim” to God before we enjoy our “fruits.” But with our personal “first fruits” in mind, we can express gratitude to God for the blessings of parents and others in our lives.

The “offering” to God can take the form of tzedakah or acts of gemilut chasadim.

In my case, given the “bikkurim” my mother shared with me, I would honor her memory and thank God by giving tzedakah to an organization that supports parents to be more effective. If possible, I might share my time with young parents who need a mentor.

What “bikkurim” did your parents share with you?

What is your earliest recollection of something your mother or father said or did that proved to be significant to you? Bless them today for having taught you well. And, as our ancestors did on this Chag Habikkurim, bring an offering of thanksgiving to God.

As tzedakah or distinct actions, bring an offering to God by sharing the benefits of your “bikkurim” with others who need them.

May the memories of your personal “bikkurim” be comforting, and may they motivate you to act.

Amen.