January 7, 2012 | 12 Tevet 5772 | Genesis 47:28-50:26

Although I have only been a father for 5 ½ years, I cannot think of my life without my kids. It is hard for me to believe that I have lived 30 years without their presence but in fact, that is the case. With their existence being so tightly interwoven into my day-to-day reality, it is shocking for me to contemplate that just 6 years ago, they weren’t even here. The fact that my life spans so many more years than theirs isn’t just a matter of age but is also an important piece about the knowledge and experience that I bring to our relationship. As I have made clear through many sermons and other Torah Sparks commentaries, my children are my greatest sources of wisdom. Through their exploration of life, I learn more each day about what it means to live. But you know… I too have explored life. I have also had adventures, explorations, triumphs, and tragedies that not only add so much to my life, but could also accentuate their life. However, these experiences can only become part of their life if I allow it to be, because, after all, they weren’t around for any of it.

This is the lesson we learn from the beginning of our parsha, Va-Y’hi.  Being the last reading from the book of Genesis, this sedra is occupied with the death of Jacob. We learn about the words of wisdom and prediction for each of his sons and the oaths he makes them take to ensure his remains are honored. We learn about all the work that will go into returning his body to Canaan and the terrible mourning that grips the people of Egypt upon his passing.  Before any of this, our holy text recalls a final interaction between Jacob and his son Joseph. Our Torah explains:

Sometime afterwards, Joseph was told, “Your father is ill.” So he took with him his two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim.  When Jacob was told, “Your son Joseph has come to see you,” Israel summoned his strength and sat up in bed.  And Jacob said to Joseph, “El Shaddai appeared to me at Luz in the land of Canaan, and He blessed me,” (Genesis 48:3)

It is interesting to note that the text focuses on Joseph’s visit to his ailing father. I have no doubt that the other brothers were notified of his condition and expeditiously gathered to his bedside. However, the text doesn’t let us in on their individual visits, just Joseph’s. If we look at the big picture, this makes sense. Joseph was the one son who spent the least amount of time under Jacob’s tutelage. Thanks to his brothers, Joseph spent 17 years away from his father. So it is no wonder why he begins his words to Joseph by reviewing his history. It is his experience in Luz and the blessings he received by God, much of which took place in Joseph’s absence, that become the core of the wisdom and experience he so desperately wants to impart to his son and grandchildren.

I lived 30 years before my children entered the scene. I have no doubt that as they continue to grow, come into their own and branch out to have their own adventures and begin their own families, that I will end up living even more years in their absence.  That makes many years of life; many years of experience that I am able to share with them, if I ever take the time to do so. If we are truly going to embody the expression, L’dor v’dor, from generation to generation, we must be willing to share more than just the few years we live under the same roof. We must dig deep into our own experience and share those moments that occurred before and beyond each other. In this way, my life and their life transform into our life.

Shabbat Shalom